A troublemaker. A slim young female with the blessed assets of a curvy woman: a perfect and dangerous combination for desire. Seemingly innocent with a smooth black ponytail and cute frames around her green eyes, but a small candy cane tattooed behind her ear endorses guilty pleasures. She bounces ever so slightly as she walks away.
The sky took the form of scales that had been shed. The reptile or fish has aged, a new cycle has begun. The sun brightened blood from underneath, indicating a hunt or violent battle had recently occurred. Birds flock without fear like black freckles on the smoky dead skin of a productive life that has been forgotten. Time moves on as if nothing happened, only to repeat itself tomorrow.
Two teenagers, sitting in a potential hazard, puddles surround. They’re too young to be true rebels. One has blond strands combed across his forehead and a pastel tank top as if November didn’t matter. The other: a hat reversed, thick frames for good vision, testing out the recently fixed wheel of his skateboard by coasting down the arroyo under a bridge and into black uncertain danger.
“I got a feeling, I can’t get over.”
-Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats, “Wasting Time”
It has been around two years since I’ve been sick. You would know that if you read Healthy Living For People Too Busy to Care, but I understand you may just be hearing about it now after accidently stumbling upon this site. Good for you, productively wasting time. I, on the other hand, wasn’t the last couple of days.
I know, this is exactly what you didn’t want, another person spreading germs via the internet. Cough cough. Don’t worry, you can take the surgical mask off, because no matter how much you believe the connection is real, it’s not. We’re here to talk about the value of wasting time, and getting over the fact that you don’t have to be productive every second of your life.
As I rested on the couch these last two days, I thought to myself, “How much Law & Order: SVU is too much Law & Order: SVU”?
OLIVIA: Why did you do it?
ME: I don’t know what you’re talking about. You have the wrong guy!
OLIVIA: We found your hair samples on that couch.
ME: The couch is lying. It drugged me with over-the-counter medicine, tempted me with comfort, and forced me on top. It was drunk with power!
OLIVIA: It’s over; we have all we need to put you away for a long time. You’re never going to hurt another couch again.
COUCH: Dude, be quiet, I’m trying to sleep.
ME: Sorry, couch. Bad dream.
COUCH: Whatever. And would you get off me? You’re too heavy.
ME: Don’t be mean; I’m sick.
COUCH: Ugh. Get over it already.
I’m the type of person who needs to be doing something, so being out of commission really takes a toll on my mental stability (as you can see). However, when your body is telling you to rest, you need to rest. It’s difficult; I couldn’t move my fingers to write or play the piano, I couldn’t gather enough strength to tidy up the house or go for a walk, and don’t get me started on the struggles of going to the kitchen or bathroom. Whatever this bug was, it had me contained, but unfortunately, that’s kind of a good thing.
As I mentioned earlier, I haven’t been sick in about two years, but catching a cold isn’t the worst thing in the world. Sometimes you just have to let your immune system do its thing and let your body cycle through the illness. Yes, it sucks, but wasting time is relative. I believe that when you’re sick it opens your eyes to how much time you really throw away. You claim, “I could be doing so much right now,” when, in fact, you’re doing exactly what you would be doing if you weren’t sick: sitting on the couch and watching television. My body needed rest and it got it for the most part.
A word of advice to everyone: DO NOT GO ANYWHERE IF YOU’RE SICK. Just like reading the blog, no one gives a shit if you’re not feeling well, and no one is falling for your cry for sympathy. I got sick because one of my co-workers came in everyday last week and complained about how sick they were. Then two of my friends, one being sick and the other inadvertently being a carrier of her boyfriend’s cold, came over to our house on Saturday. Lastly, I went to an 8-year-old’s birthday party at a bowling alley Saturday night – nothing regarding that statement sounds healthy.
What did we learn from this pointless post? Not a damn thing considering it was a big waste of time. To recap: It’s not the end of the world when you get sick so let your body do its thing, and don’t spread your germs just because you want attention. Do it behind the safety of a computer screen.
I’ve never witnessed a wave atop a mountain until now, and the gray layer that hides the crest is monstrous. It covers the moon though the light fights for survival. The ridge of the fog approaches, drops of rain crackle on the buildings and flood the grounds. How I yearn for the peak, yearn for assurance. The trees are dark, the tunnel is hypnotizing, and the cloud moves in to suffocate more land.
He’s a squirrely fellow; I can’t seem to tell if his odor derives from his mouth or body. He fidgets a lot, shakes his hands as if a vice is needed. I’ve been observing him for some time and he has the tendency to whistle and stretch much too often.
His devious smile and snicker show his age, but the experience in his wrinkles does not offer worthy wisdom. He suffered a rough past, and hides his body’s softness to maintain an image that has run its course.
He attempts to conceal worry, yet it just creates suspicion.
“And cover me, Cause I’ve been branded, I’ve lost my mind.”
-Candlebox, “Cover Me”
I’m a strong supporter of cover songs because usually – usually – bands either put a unique twist on a classic or sometimes make the original a little better with a new sound. I could provide you with a list, but it could go on for a while – feel free to leave a comment if you want some rockin’ suggestions.
Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies make their living off their ska versions of hits, and Justin Mauriello put out one of my favorite cover albums, Justin Sings The Hits. I know, super original album title. Also, we’re all well aware that rap artists use beats from older songs, and even Lady Antelbellum’s new hit, You Look Good, briefly included the chorus of Bill Withers’ Use Me during an award-show performance. Then you have to think, what would life be like without the great, drunk, or humorous karaoke performances people embarrassingly struggle through? Awful, that’s what. Lastly, we must recognize the carefree tone-deaf individuals who save their belting for the shower and car. The artists thank you for the tribute, and we thank you for keeping it to yourself.
That brings us to our issue: some people don’t keep their talent to themselves. YouTube and social media has truly taken the uniqueness out of the individual and entertainment. Having a good voice is nothing nowadays – just like if you won a million bucks you could blow through it pretty quickly and you don’t even have to try. Everything has become devalued, but we can do a whole series on that direction of society. No? Okay good. I don’t feel like working that hard at the moment. Anyway, to prove my point, why do you think reality singing competitions and talent shows can have a new season every year? Because there’s that many people out there who have talent. The real question is, what puts you ahead of the rest?
Becoming a sensation is easy as long as you have a camera and a microphone – which are both on your phone by the way. Even easier! It’s also easy because – and I think I’ve mentioned this before – we have too many people who believe that average things are amazing. Reference: “An Observation Concerning… People Loving Amazing Things” on this amazing blog. See what I did there? It will come to you.
The main reason behind this post is the annoying plethora of slow covers by female singers with sultry voices. It was cool when one person did it, but now everyone does it, and they sound exactly the same. It’s like they’re trying to be deep with another person’s words, which ultimately shows that the meaning of cover songs have been lost. They used to be for fun and/or a tribute, but now it’s to get attention and/or sell things like Wrigley Gum and dumb, pointless features on an Iphone.
What would you want to hear while in a bar? A slowed down version of a song, creating a depressing cloud over what was once a fun night, only so the singer can get noticed by some drunk people who won’t remember anything anyway; or something fun and exciting or an amateur who really worked hard at learning Friends In Low Places or Bohemian Rhapsody, passionately expressing themselves and getting the entire bar involved? Neither is also a valid answer, but one is still better than the other.
On a personal note, I once won a t-shirt for my rendition of Oops, I Did it Again during karaoke night at a dive bar. Cool. Really cool.