An Observation Concerning… First-Hand Complaints

“Away away, to all that I despise.”
-311, “Flowing”

2017 was interesting to say the least. With all the drama surrounding political and social issues we once again failed to fix a very aggravating problem, one that stretches beyond international borders. You know exactly what I’m talking about: most bathroom faucets still hang too close to the back of the sink.

Some may not consider this an issue, but… well, that’s fair, I really have nothing to argue its importance. However, it’s something to think about, a distraction really from the chaos and differences that haunted our minds and affected our livelihoods.

You may recall a remarkable observation I wrote concerning public restrooms. A reminder was triggered and I thought about the faucet problem while traveling to our nation’s capital this Christmas. The government was on break so I couldn’t present my plight to congress so now you have to deal with my complaints – and I know you have nothing better to do during these passing days between Christmas and New Year’s Eve. So, without further ado, what’s the deal with the faucet being so close to the back of the sink when the bowl is so enormous?

I would think it’s an easy fix, but then again, I’m not a plumber – my pants cover my crack on most occasions so I can’t even pass that requirement. I’m just saying if there’s not enough clearance for your hands to avoid banging against the bowl then I think a remodel is something to consider – especially if you’re leaning over this gigantic open space toward the spout in order to wash your hands. This simple suggestion will solve three problems: your hands won’t be crowded, the possibility of embarrassingly hurting your back bending over will be erased, and there will probably be less excess water splashed against the mirror and flooding the counter.

This brings up another question to ponder: why the hell do people wash their hands with such intensity sometimes? It’s like they’re bathing in there, and I can’t find a dry spot to selfishly take up public counter space with the pointless crap I carry. The nerve.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some quality faucets out in this world that have excellent flow-to-hand clearance; you usually find them in kitchens, non-hole-in-the-wall Asian restaurants (the hole-in-the-walls probably don’t have a bathroom and may be a front for something like illegal snooker gambling after hours), or upscale restaurants.

Quick upscale restaurants note: While in DC, the staff would fold your napkin for you after you got up to use the bathroom. I was quite offended for a few seconds; I’m sorry I don’t place my napkin on the table correctly. Also, how unsanitary is that? They’re touching dirty dishes and other dirty napkins and then they touch your napkin and then you put it to your mouth… and you know that some employees probably don’t wash their hands in the restroom as the standard sign orders either out of being rushed, forgetfulness, spite, or maybe because the spout is too damn close to the bowl.

That wasn’t such a quick note after all. I guess the point of all this is that there’s no point to a lot of complaints. Maybe we use this as an example and try not to bitch so much in 2018. Maybe we should just go with the flow.

See what I did there? Faucets, flow. It will come to you. Happy New Year and don’t forget to wash your hands in 2018!

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