Wasting Sick Time

“I got a feeling, I can’t get over.”
-Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats, “Wasting Time”

It has been around two years since I’ve been sick. You would know that if you read Healthy Living For People Too Busy to Care, but I understand you may just be hearing about it now after accidently stumbling upon this site. Good for you, productively wasting time. I, on the other hand, wasn’t the last couple of days.

I know, this is exactly what you didn’t want, another person spreading germs via the internet. Cough cough. Don’t worry, you can take the surgical mask off, because no matter how much you believe the connection is real, it’s not. We’re here to talk about the value of wasting time, and getting over the fact that you don’t have to be productive every second of your life.

As I rested on the couch these last two days, I thought to myself, “How much Law & Order: SVU is too much Law & Order: SVU”?

OLIVIA: Why did you do it?
ME: I don’t know what you’re talking about. You have the wrong guy!
OLIVIA: We found your hair samples on that couch.
ME: The couch is lying. It drugged me with over-the-counter medicine, tempted me with comfort, and forced me on top. It was drunk with power!
OLIVIA: It’s over; we have all we need to put you away for a long time. You’re never going to hurt another couch again.
ME: Nooooooo!
COUCH: Dude, be quiet, I’m trying to sleep.
ME: Sorry, couch. Bad dream.
COUCH: Whatever. And would you get off me? You’re too heavy.
ME: Don’t be mean; I’m sick.
COUCH: Ugh. Get over it already.

I’m the type of person who needs to be doing something, so being out of commission really takes a toll on my mental stability (as you can see). However, when your body is telling you to rest, you need to rest. It’s difficult; I couldn’t move my fingers to write or play the piano, I couldn’t gather enough strength to tidy up the house or go for a walk, and don’t get me started on the struggles of going to the kitchen or bathroom. Whatever this bug was, it had me contained, but unfortunately, that’s kind of a good thing.

As I mentioned earlier, I haven’t been sick in about two years, but catching a cold isn’t the worst thing in the world. Sometimes you just have to let your immune system do its thing and let your body cycle through the illness. Yes, it sucks, but wasting time is relative. I believe that when you’re sick it opens your eyes to how much time you really throw away. You claim, “I could be doing so much right now,” when, in fact, you’re doing exactly what you would be doing if you weren’t sick: sitting on the couch and watching television. My body needed rest and it got it for the most part.

A word of advice to everyone: DO NOT GO ANYWHERE IF YOU’RE SICK. Just like reading the blog, no one gives a shit if you’re not feeling well, and no one is falling for your cry for sympathy. I got sick because one of my co-workers came in everyday last week and complained about how sick they were. Then two of my friends, one being sick and the other inadvertently being a carrier of her boyfriend’s cold, came over to our house on Saturday. Lastly, I went to an 8-year-old’s birthday party at a bowling alley Saturday night – nothing regarding that statement sounds healthy.

What did we learn from this pointless post? Not a damn thing considering it was a big waste of time. To recap: It’s not the end of the world when you get sick so let your body do its thing, and don’t spread your germs just because you want attention. Do it behind the safety of a computer screen.

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